Not Enough

I hated this year.  This year, this year needs to end.  It needs to die.  Words fly around in my brain like a bird that can't find a way out.  All I feel is sad, sad, sad.

Slow starter, self-sabotage-er, anti-social old woman.

I don't know what will happen.  I don't know anything anymore.  I can't bring myself to say anything positive and that's disconcerting me.  Everything sounds so stupid and cliche and not enough.

I need to pull myself out of this hole.  It's just hard when you can't see a way out.