Wish

I wish I could stop this.  I wish I could stop thinking.  I wish I could be someone else for a while.

It's been a while since I didn't want to be myself.

All I Had

It's been two weeks since Jim and I broke up.  Or if you want honesty, Jim broke up with me and I didn't see the point arguing with him if he didn't want to be with me.  He took the dogs because he can afford them and I can't.  My life is pretty empty without them and I'm trying to find things to fill it with.  It's exhausting trying to not think about what I've lost.  It's hard to think of it positively.  I can only divert myself so long until it comes over me.  I don't want to replace anything.  I can't.  Not when all I think about is what I had.

Ex

This house is so different.  I can't stop crying.  My babies are gone.  I've had a dog die before and it killed me. But my dogs aren't dead.  They are with my ex.  I miss them so much already.

Last

On the unwanted homestretch.  Last weekend with the dogs.  Last time we will be anything close to what we were.  This is killing me.

Closer

The closer it gets to him leaving with the dogs, the more panicked I get.  What am I going to do with myself?  Who am I going to go to?  What am I going to do?

Leaving

This is the weirdest, most horrible breakup I've had.  He's leaving very soon.  The dogs are going with him.  This house is going to be very, very quiet.

Remember

I don't really remember what it was like before we were together.  I only know I've been through it before and came out the other side stronger and more confident in who I am.  I just need to focus on myself and what I have control over.  I don't know how long it will take me to forget what it's like to be with him.