The Good Earth

"I don't wait for moods.  You accomplish nothing if you do that.  Your mind must know it has got to get down to work."

--Pearl S. Buck

More Everything

I had somewhat of a breakthrough today.  I've been struggling with my drive to find a new job.  I mean the physical act of walking out the door and putting in apps and my resume.  I've been paralyzed by that.  I was bad at doing that before Borders.  The only reason I applied for Borders 9 years ago was because my mom suggested it.  Or maybe it was my dad.  I've forgotten.  I'd never heard of it before and when they told me it was a bookstore, I jumped for it because I love reading.

I was very confident at Borders because I started fresh there.  It was a brand new store.  I was a brand new 20-year-old.  I grew up there.  I learned to be a leader there.  I learned so much about people and myself there.  I learned patience.  I learned how to embrace change.  I learned that people just want to be heard and acknowledged.  I learned peacekeeping.  I learned how to laugh at myself.  I loved it there and in the end, I hated it there.  Yes, I did quit, but I really had no idea it would have this much hold on me for this long of time after I left voluntarily.

Maybe I didn't give it enough thought after I left.  I wasn't prepared for how this time off would effect me.  The time alone.  The time thinking.  The time to get stuff done but not doing it.  The t.v., the internet sucking up all my valuable time.  I didn't know how important it was for me, as a person, to contribute monetarily to my own livelihood.  Jim told me today that he came back because he loved who I was when I was totally independent of him.  When I only had myself to think about I was thin, I was strong.  I had friends and a social life.  I went places and did things and had fun.  I don't do those things so much anymore and I'm worst for it.

with friends

It's so common sense what I need to do.  I need to stop thinking and start doing.  Every time I stop doing things, and I mean anything, I start getting depressed.  I feel so guilty that I had this whole day and all I did was watch t.v. and look at the internet.  I didn't work out or take the dogs for a walk.  I didn't start any woodworking projects that I want to do, I have three that I've planned but never started.  I didn't go put in my resume anywhere.  I didn't go take any pictures.  I didn't hang out with any of my friends that I miss and would really like to reconnect with.  Weeks, I've lost weeks.  It makes me so mad at myself.  So mad.

I need to get out of my head and just get shit done.  This is the only life I've got and I don't want to keep wasting it.  I want more fun.  I want more sense of accomplishment.  I want more everything.

Much Love

Manipulation

Bugs started a new habit of standing just outside the kitchen and staring at me.

She knows she's not allowed in the kitchen, and most of the time she follows the rules.

I love how you can see a halo of wiry hair sticking out from her skinny body.  We're letting the dogs coats grow out for winter.

She's going to look even more ridiculous in a month or two.

Bugs...out of the kitchen.

What do you want from me?

I can't understand you.  I don't speak dog.  I try not to communicate my every wish with my eyes, it makes me feel vulnerable.  But that doesn't stop you, does it, Bugs?

Okay, okay, I'll get off the computer and pet you.

Much Manipulation

Pattern

I need a new pattern in my life.  I keep doing the same thing to myself over and over and feeling the same way over and over.  I wonder if I have the fortitude to reformat my day or my thinking or the way I say things.  I want to do so much.  I want to get out of this house.  I want to stop being so afraid of everything.  I remember being like this before.  It's like the last 9 years never happened.  But they did happen.  I grew up.  I keep forgetting that.  I'm in adult denial. I'm a slow starter.

Much Love

Hunt

So I've chucked myself into the job market after 6 months of me no worky.  

Oh, job hunting.

It's been about 5 days and I've had an interview already.  It was exciting getting called an hour after I'd put in my resume.  I immediately bought a new outfit and some snazzy heels to make me feel confident.  I don't know why walking with a wiggle in my hips makes me feel strong but it does.  But the job turned out to not be enough for me right now.  Maybe five years ago I'd have taken it but now I have a little better understanding of what's important to me.  

It did depress me a little, though.  That's bothering me.  I need to not let this job hunt hurt my attitude or my routine.  I just need to stay positive and something will turn up that I will be happy with.  Right?

Much Deep Breathing

Sweet Surrender

Birthday Dinner #1 at Moo Creamery.  Had the roasted asparagus sandwich.  I love asparagus so it was right up my alley.  Jim had a huge juicy spicy burger that I don't remember the name of but it looked fantastic.  Also had some of the best onion rings I've ever tasted.  Jim got me a Matterhorn Chocolate Cake from Sweet Surrender with the words "Hold Me Now" on it.  That's our song.  So thoughtful and decadent.

Pro Tripod (thanks Mom and Dad)

Mom and Dad got me this sick professional tripod.  It wasn't on my list so it was a real surprise, but then I remembered how often I thought to myself, "I really need a tripod."  

Pro Ball Head for said tripod

Then Mom just handed me this onion and said it was a Vidalia.  She gets random produce from her work at Grimway Farms.  It was such cute mom thing.  I love it when she does things like this.

Sweet Vidalia Onion

So Yummy

We ate some before I could take a picture so the "Now" in  "Hold Me Now"

Holy Moly, this is rich.

Much Birthday Love

DMV Makeover

I'm turning 29 tomorrow.  Today was the DMV and getting my driver's license renewed.  New picture in 13 years.  I kinda freaked out about it and went to Sephora to get my makeup done by someone that knows what they're doing.  She was nice.  She liked NPR.  Jimmy wanted to take some pictures of me.

Red Lips

Hello....

I'm so old.

I got all made up for this picture, went to the DMV, took the picture within 15 minutes of getting there and was told that it would be mailed to me.  I didn't even get to make sure the picture was good!

I liked my eyes.  Yes, I bought some product.

I feel good about turning 29.  I feel like it's going to be a great year.  I'm infinitely upbeat.

Much Makeup

Rocking

I just fixed our toilet.  It's been rocking back and forth for a while and two days ago it started leaking from beneath.  So what's a good DIY'er to do?  Look on Youtube and find out how to replace a wax ring on a toilet. I did it in an hour, including the trip to The Home Depot.

It was pretty gross, though.  That's why plumbers get paid so much.

Much Fixing

Jimmy's Snail

Jimmy brought home some Play-Doh yesterday and proceeded to make his "go to" animal.  

A snail.

It was pretty cute.

First you roll it out.

Then you make the shell.

Make the eyes.

And done.

Snail friend.

Some other cute stuff that happens at our house on our couch.

Hi.

Oh, you want to smell the inside of my mouth, don't you?

Here you go.

That face kills me.

Oblivious

Tired face.

My kids love nap time.

Much Cuteness

More Vegetables

I watched a documentary called "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead."  It really made me want to eat more vegetables and go on a juice fast.  So I made Jim watch it, and Guy watched it, too, and both of them said they want to do the juice fast with me.

http://www.fatsickandnearlydead.com/

So I bought a juicer, which still isn't here, and Jim suggested that we stop eating meat until the juicer arrives.  I think it's been three days.  Vegetarian is something I've never been, but I feel like I'm coming up against common problems that they face.  We're trying to not eat bread and pasta with every meal but it's like some subconscious need to eat carbs if you know you aren't eating meat.  Jim is finding veg choices out and about when he needs to eat lunch at work very limited, or fried and unhealthy.

I keep thinking we need to grow more vegetables in our backyard.  I kind of want a couple chickens for eggs.

Anyway.  This is not forever.  I am not turning vegetarian for good.  I love meat and I think humans were meant to eat it, but maybe not as much as we have been.  So hopefully, this juicer shows up, we can do our 10 day all juice fast and then go back to eating meat, just less frequently.

Much Vegetables

Texture

I just spent three days up at my parent's cabin helping my dad texture the walls in the downstairs apartment.  And the ceiling.  We got in on Wednesday and went on a walk with the puppies.

Move Sadie

That's the other 10 acres on the right

These berry bushes are everywhere.  Very invasive.  Not ripe yet.

Surveying his domain

There was this pretty little pool surrounded by berry bushes and right before I could take a picture, Lily decided she was hot and needed to cool off.

Aqua Dog

Sans Lily

Pine cone pictures never turn out like I want them to.

Then we relaxed on the deck.

Lily, relaxing.

Full Moon

The next morning the dogs got Dad up a little before 5am and he took them out on a walk, because he's crazy and he spoils those dogs like no one else.  I went back to sleep.

There's something in that wood pile.

So this is how the walls look before we went at them.  

Before

We started in the bathroom.  The purple drywall is mold resistant (if you care).  The first technique we tried was putting joint compound (or mud) on a paint roller and trying to roll it onto the ceiling and going after it with a trowel and knock it down and make the texture that was all Dad's idea.

First Technique

But we knew right away that that was not going to work.  The compound was too thick and wouldn't go on the roller and we didn't feel like cutting it with water so Dad just started to slap it on with the trowel  and trying to make the texture with that alone.  

Second Technique

After doing that for an hour, Dad figured out that when he dabbed some mud on in a random pattern and then went over it with a trowel it was easier to get the semi-pro texture look we wanted.  So we did that and finished the bathroom and then had lunch and a nap.

Bathroom Ceiling

Three hours later we were back at it.  The compound came in these bags in a box and weighed at least 60 pounds.  We decided to squeeze the compound out of the bag and just use the box as our container for the compound.  That was a pretty messy job and Dad got mud all over his hands.  So after all the mud was in the box he patted it on the wall and when he went over it with the trowel it looked like professional texturing.  

Ah ha!  So I started putting compound on the wall with my hands and Dad would come in after and knock it down.  It was so much easier and looked so good that we were super proud of ourselves.  We then proceeded to texture around the room and up on the ceiling until we were almost done but we were tired and wanted our dinner so we stopped for the night.

Where we left off the first day.

Kitchen area

Three boxes down

Dinner time

Of course we had steaks, and of course they were fantastic.  Dad knows his meat.  It's hard to beat a beer on a deck in the mountains watching hummingbirds fight over territory with dogs at your feet after a great meal.

The Explorer

The Homebody

Hummingbird Perch

Talking to his honey.

The Winner
 (for the moment).

The next day was finishing up the texturing left on the ceiling and sanding the dry.  I hate sanding.  It's hard to wear a mask and glasses because they always fog up and you can't see what you're doing.  But I struggled through.

Checking out his new sanding tool.

Hi Lily

So this is how texturing application should be done if you are going to be using your hands.  Gloves are good to have on your hands for protection.  

Step One: Put some mud on your hands.

Step Two: Dab it on the surface of your choice.

Repeat

Flotsam 

After

After sanding

This is what the dogs were doing 90% of the time.

Dad was extremely happy with our progress, we both were.  It's a common occurrence when working on a project dealing with a procedure you've never done before to take a lot longer than you expect it to.  But Dad ended up primed and painted on the bathroom and stopped only because he ran out of both because he didn't think we would get that far.  It's nice when things work out.

Priming

Happy Kent

I left a lot of mud on the ladder where I picked it up to constantly re-position it.

The third day my beautiful mother showed up to spend the weekend with her honey.  I got to drive her car back home to spend the weekend with my honey.

Cute

What hicks...

So that's it.  I learned something new.  I spent some time with my Pops.  I got out of Bakersfield for a couple days.  I breathed the mountain air.  I kept looking over my shoulder for bears.  It was fun.  

Much Texture